Transformers: Age of Extinction

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(2014) ★★

Well, this is getting sillier than the Ice Age franchise. Great big spaceships wiped out the dinosaurs, not a meteor. Meanwhile, in present-day Texas, auto mechanic Mark Wahlberg finds an Autobot in his farmyard barn, which the CIA burns to the ground. With his daughter Nicola Peltz sniping every step of the way, Wahlberg’s on the run with his new robotic chum, Optimus Prime. All the way to China. There’ll be fireworks. Indeed, the only thing more prevalent than the wanton destruction is the blatant product placement. “A new era has begun,” says Kelsey Grammer. “The age of the Transformers is over.” Insert your own gag here. Still, you’ve got to hand it to car-crash supervisor Michael Bay – the bangs are big. The cast seems more flabbergasted than we do, maybe because they haven’t sat through the first three. 165 minutes would likely be too much of a good thing. Of a mediocity, it’s way too much – as tiresome as the overcooked friction between over-protective dunce Walhlberg and his pretty teenage daughter.

Certificate: 12