(2012) ★
Channel 5: PREMIERE Sunday 10 May, 11.45pm
Special Ops survivor Christian Slater hired to train a bunch of wealthy weekend warriors to invade Snake Island, home to evil dictator Gennadi Vengerov. It’s the kind of set-up that wouldn’t even pass muster as a video-game outline. But this black hole of action somehow managed to engage the likes of Mission: Impossible’s Ving Rhames, Con Air’s Colm Meany and Lord of the Ringsters Sean Bean and Dominic Monaghan. Even before having his head lopped off in the first season of Game of Thrones, Bean’s script choices were sometimes baffling. A brooding Boromir and a steadfast Ned Stark, Bean’s too good to waste on stuff like Death Race 2. He’s better than Cleanskin and Nick Love’s Outlaw. This is much worse. Far more egregious than The Expendables, it’s execrable.
Certificate: 15
Duration: 94min
