Grace of Monaco

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(2014)

Sky Movies Showcase: Wednesday 10 June, 6.20am

‘A fictional account’ of events in the life of her serene highness, princess Grace of Monaco. Fictional is the only thing this fiasco gets right. Nicole Kidman is disastrously miscast. Talk like Grace Kelly? She doesn’t even walk like Grace Kelly.

Pretending to be Hitchcock, Roger Ashton Griffiths fares even worse. He wanted her for Marnie. She wanted to do it. That’s the interesting bit. “No princess of Monaco has taken to the stage before!” says an objecting suit, making no distinction between film and theatre.

Then it’s all talk of taxes and state affairs and Charles de Gaulle’s treasury requirements aboard luxury yachts in a harbour lit up by casinos. Tim Roth makes Rainier seem about as authoritative as Reginald Perrin: “What is it that Hollywood can give you that I can’t?” Poor little Gracie in her gilded cage. Frustrated by her busy prince’s business – “It’s always politics with him…” – and counselled by kindly priest Frank Langella: “In years to come they will continue to whisper your name.” Soap? It’s sitcom.

De Gaulle’s voice on the telephone is pure ’Allo ’Allo and the attempt to turn this tedious French tiff into hopefully Hitchcockian intrigue is frankly laughable. Too good for this tripe, Kidman and Langella were ill advised to accept these roles. Although if they had any sense of the script before doing so, they’re both out of excuses. To history and art alike, Grace is a disgrace. As for Roth, he has another recent serious conviction in the indefensible Eurotrash stakes. He made the Fifa-approved United Passions, playing Sepp Blatter in – and I quote – ‘the saga of the three wholly honest and deeply ethical men who created the World Cup’.

The guys who wrote Naked Gun couldn’t have put it any funnier.

Certificate: PG
Duration: 103min

Other Showings Date & Time
Sky Movies Showcase Thursday, 11 June at 5:30AM