Sky Movies Crime & Thriller: Wednesday 8 July, 9pm
Gerard Butler and Idris Elba are strictly small-time operators. Even their names are naff: Butler is Mr One Two and Elba is Mumbles. They call their outfit the Wild Bunch. These two muppets are diddled by well-connected London loanshark Tom Wilkinson. And he’s about to be sold out by his accountant Thandie Newton in a speech-bubble plot so needlessly complicated, punctuated by casual racist insults, cartoon slapstick violence and with more colourful characters than a Japanese calendar, it requires humourless henchman Mark Strong to narrate it. Guy Ritchie returns his comical toff-guy act to snarky Snatch territory and, despite assured playing by an appealing cast, it still feels like stale scrapings from the old Lock-Stock barrel, with extra added funny junkies. RocknRolla? Stroll on. It’s more like a British Rail buffet roll. Rebranded for Russian billionaires, of course. So, unless lowlife gunslingers are your thing, there’s no one to root for. But you probably knew that already.