Jingle All the Way 2

(2014) ★

Sky Movies Premiere: PREMIERE Friday 6 November, 8am and 6.15pm

Apparently unaware of the worldwide interweb, Larry the Cable Guy searches desperately for the toy his festively-named daughter Noel wants for Christmas – Harrison the talking bear. A friendlier ted than Ted, Harrison’s hotter than One Direction. And the big dumb Cable Guy is headed for a cul-de-sac in a race between him and Noel’s stepfather, Brian Stepanek.

Kennedi Clements is Noel, and she couldn’t look more freaked out if she was in the Poltergeist remake (which she was). This shocker – the cinematic equivalent of throwing up in a stocking – ‘reimagines’ the 1994 slapstick face-off between Arnold Schwarzengger and Sinbad (not the sailor, a comedian from the 15-minutes-hall-of-fame).

“This is why the terrorists hate us,” Dvd Verdict’s David Johnson said of the first film, directed by Flintstones man Brian Levant. Here, director Alex Zamm voices the bear. Having previously inflicted The Pooch and the Pauper, Dr Dolittle’s Million Dollar Mutts and Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 upon unsuspecting families, you’d imagine he’s more used to dogs.

Certificate: U

Duration: 93min

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