Film4: Thursday 12 November, 11.35pm
“It sucked,” said Arnold Schwarzenegger. As it happens, he was talking about Terminator Salvation, not Terminator Genisys. In Salvation, Christian Bale is the new John Connor, leading the bedraggled human resistance against the might of the machines in the ever-raging Skynet wars.
Bale needs to find the off switch fast but what he doesn’t know is that Sam Worthington has already sold his – and mankind’s – future to the ghosts in the machine. Now a cybernetic hybrid with more variations than Gobots, surly Sam doesn’t just have a chip on his shoulder – he’s got them inside his head.
Never mind the off switch, where’s the darn self-destruct button? As dark and muddled as Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes remake, the badly titled Terminator reboot (Terminator what? the killer robots are on our side? huh?) is a fantastically ugly film that’s nowhere near as much fun as the Resident Evil pictures.
At key points it resurrects lines from the first film (“If you want to stay alive, come with me”) and the best bits incorporate Brad Fiedel’s storming music from Judgment Day. The new stuff? Ugly as sin and twice as violent. Utterly humourless, too, unless you think the ‘12’ rating is funny.