Home Alone is a loveable Christmas film. The central premise, as you already know, sees Macauley Culkin’s Kevin McCallister be inadvertently abandoned by his family as they head to Paris for an extended trip to Paris over the festive season.

It’s completely innocuous, though, they totally forgot he had been banished to the attic after misbehaving and, in the words of his Uncle Frank, acting like “a little jerk.” Now, nobody has ever really thought much about the McCallister family other than that they’re not great at parenting and they certainly view Kevin as the black sheep.

However, a certain writer over at posits a theory that delves into a much darker, more terrifying reality surrounding the McCallister clan. His belief is that they’re actually a cult. Yes, we’re aware that it sounds completely and utterly bonkers – but below are his main arguments. Take from them what you will, but it’s fun to speculate that the screenwriters had a much deeper imagination when writing the characters than most people acknowledged.

“So as you know, Kevin’s family accidentally leaves him behind when they go on holiday to Paris. Pretty bad parenting, but I guess even the best of us make mistakes. The weird part about this is how they try to solve the issue.

“If I accidentally left my son home alone and only found out when I was halfway across the world, I would have a moment of panic followed by a quick phone call. And who would I call? My friends and family of course! Surely the most logical thing to do is to call someone you know who lives nearby and ask them to go check on your kid. That way the local authorities don’t have to find out and you don’t risk them revoking your rights to ever have children again.

Kate McCallister doesn’t have any friends

“Calling a friend really seems like the easiest way to solve the situation. But what does Kate do? She calls the police. She desperately tries to get them to visit Kevin, even screaming on the phone to them. It seems like calling a friend would be a lot less trouble for her, but apparently that’s not an option. Why, you ask? Well what kind of people only hang out with their own, suspiciously large family? That’s right – the McCallister family is a cult.

The kids are victims of fear mongering

Home Alone

“If you were the leader of a cult you’d want to make sure the members stay away from the outside world. Especially if they’re children, you don’t want them to grow up with any other influences than yours. (I read that in ‘How to run a cult for dummies’ by the way. Great book.)

“And conveniently enough, the McCallister kids are scared of their neighbour. They believe him to be a crazy murderer, when he really is the sweetest old man ever. So who’s responsible for this? It would make sense for their parents to spread the rumour to ensure their children didn’t speak to anyone outside the cult. Of course they speak to other people occasionally, they have to keep up appearances.

The family name

Home Alone

“Now this is where it gets really uncanny. The McCallister family have a seemingly normal name, but is there more to it than we initially thought? The Spanish word ‘alistar’, which sounds similar to Callister, actually means ‘induct’. Additionally, MC is an abbreviation for the term ‘Master of Ceremonies’. So the McCallister name pretty much means induction ceremony. I don’t know about you guys, but that’s the most culty name I’ve ever heard.

“All of this could be a coincidence of course, but we all know that’s not how fan theories work. The McCallister family is clearly a cult.

What do you think about this fan theory? Is it complete nonsense, or will you watch Home Alone next time with more particular attention on the behaviour of Kevin’s family? 

Click here to see a grown-up Macauley Culkin talk about being abandoned in Home Alone for a new YouTube series.

Orrrr, if you’re looking for more outrageous fan theories, check out this one about John Candy’s role in the film. It will haunt you.